Are you set on what’s at the end of your rainbow? Why it’s good to decide, not to decide.
Hello! I’m getting ‘back to it’ after a short summer break. You ‘at it’ too?
Getting stuff done is good, yes? You get to say I achieved something, tick the box, get the medal, praise, pat on the back or whatever it is.
“Move on, neeeeeeexxt.” Is that a success mantra you were fed on? Sat writing this, I think it was mine. Did it work for me…? Mostly I guess, but I’ve been turning the idea over for a few days, and the result of these musings is what I want to share with you.
So take a minute from your next to do, please… and stay with me. 😉
You see, I do believe it’s important to get things from point A to B, otherwise how do you move anything forward?
…wait a second
But, this week something happened that made me go ‘oh’… wait a second. What if it’s not ALL about arriving? What if you get ‘there’ (wherever that bleary vision of destination ‘done it’ is), and it’s not ALL THAT. And more than that, what if you were so busy trying to reach the goal, you didn’t even get to appreciate much of that good stuff that was going on in between the A and the B.
It can happen right?. I think it happens all too often in my life, and in many (not so obvious) ways. Let me explain with this short story.
So, I ‘m reading a new book. Scratch that, I’m devouring it, page after page…and I’m about three chapters from finishing when…nothing. I just stop.
I’m not sure why. The read is good, intense, provocative and brings up all kinds of emotions, but for days I haven’t put it down and now…? It’s gathering dust.
Eventually the good friend who loaned me the book asks me if I’m done with it. And I admit, rather sheepishly, that I’ve left it with just pages to go.
Cue brow beating, non-nourishing, bad self-talk. Wait…here it comes…
“Shit, I never finish ANYTHING!”
“I’m such a procrastinator”
“What is it about me…? I’m hopeless.”
I’m now mentally reeling off ALL the projects I ever started that didn’t come to much. All the times I didn’t quite cross the finishing line. And, while I’m at it let’s throw in everything that’s on my ‘to-doist’ list that’s not done yet as it’s clear to everyone now that I’m just not a FINISHER. And that’s a bad, bad thing (spot the limiting belief).
Ouchheeee…go back to yoga training school Josie as you are clearly not done there also. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Double oucheee.
My straight-talking. loveable friend kindly reminds me that I should stop telling myself such tosh and just read the frickin’ book (in not so many words). She’s right.
It’s done the next day, I finish. FINALLY. but, you know what, it was the most miserable and unsatisfactory ending imaginable. Hours after putting it down, I’m still depressed. Glad I made time to finish that! Urrh…not really.
So, my highly achieving yogi friends I learned a lesson in this, that I’m inviting you to consider too.
But first, here’s some questions for you .
Ask yourself, are you all about the arriving? Are you waiting to cross some finish line before experiencing any joy, satisfaction, love, thrill or reward? And then question if you will, are you even guaranteed you will be happy once you get to whatever lofty goal or ending you set out to reach, or nail. Will it bring you all you need?
Maybe it will, and that’s great, but sometimes even when we get what we want or think we want, it’s not what we imagined or we don’t feel the way we thought we could, would or should.
As well as the disappointment of things not working out the way we wanted we can be so fixed on the goal, maybe we also missed the opportunity to appreciate and really enjoy every moment it took to get where we are?
Can you look to find the rewards of just taking part, being present, in the moment and letting go of any attachment to what might or might not be at the end of that rainbow or how we’ll feel when we get there.
From today, I want you to catch yourself when you hear yourself saying things like:
When I land this job… I’ll be a success.
When I’ve lost a stone… I’ll rock this queen (or king).
When I’m married…I’ll be happy
When I’m earning six figures…I can enjoy
When I have my own business, that car, that house, a holiday home in…
Is it really a good idea to put off your happiness now, for something that might not even be ALL THAT when you get there?
I kind want to respectfully suggest we don’t say stuff like that… any more. At least not as much.
My first step towards this was to (eventually) tap into my present self and circle back to the yoga-inspired trainings that are so very cool that I have been compelled to build a life sharing them with you.
Which brings me to the one healthy yogi habit every ‘gotta get it done’ finisher needs.
…AND HERE’S YOUR ANSWER
PRACTICE THE LAW OF DETACHMENT (AT LEAST ON A FRIDAY).
It’s time to start savouring it ALL. Don’t you think? Who knows if the end goal is going to be all that? No one does, right. But we can squeeze all the joy we get from what we’re doing at the time, while we’re aiming for something more?
So next time you’re notice you’ve become so focused on the end game you’ve lost sight of where you’re at right now, try this.
Decide not to decide where it should all end… That’s it.
Become less attached to where stuff is heading and what it will look like when you get ‘there’. Whether it’s practicing yoga or training for a marathon, showing up and experiencing the day to day, hour by hour, moment by moment can matter more than achieving what you imagine is waiting for you at the end – either some ideal ‘end’ pose or a medal for completing the race.
If you get hung up on the details of what you are shooting for, it’s far more likely you’ll push yourself too far too soon and somewhere in between wind up exactly where you didn’t want to go (and that can be painfully disappointing or just simply painful).
Now I’m a tenacious girl, so I believe in grit, determination and resilience. I also believe having goals and things to aim for can, and has, served me well. But honestly sometimes my friend, beliefs can work against you. Being aware or conscious of when they do and when they don’t is how you get the balance right (or get it back).
HERE’S WHAT TO DO NOW..
If you’re open. Take a minute to get still, and ask yourself if you are so rigidly wedded to an idea, an outcome, a belief, a way of doing something, how you ‘are’, or how something is going to turn out, that it is preventing you from either getting to your goals with any sense of pleasure, or from enjoying it when you do get there. Can you let that go. Even if you only do it on Friday’s (as it’s Friday’s principle law of success – thank you Deepak).
Share your thoughts, feedback and ideas in the comment below. I’d love to hear what you may be able to let go of – just a little.
Take what serves my friend.
P.S – 3 New Yoga Programmes are on there way. Keep checking the yoga programmes page for all you need to get started.